Infertility Heartache Heals With Help Of Specialist Lillian Dulan
One LA based Family Therapist, Lillian Dulan a.k.a. Lily Dulan, M.A., M.F.T., has been through the process herself and now specializes in helping people cope with infertility. She fully understands the effects fertility treatments have on the mental and physical body, as well as on relationships, and shares ways to help.
- Los Angeles-Long Beach, CA (1888PressRelease) December 22, 2010 - The heartache associated with infertility currently plagues more than 6.1 million women in the US. In the pursuit of having a child, rigorous fertility treatments result in powerful physical side effects, and have a tremendous emotional impact. One LA based Family Therapist, Lillian Dulan a.k.a. Lily Dulan M.A., M.F.T., has been through the process herself and now specializes in helping people cope with infertility. She fully understands the effects fertility treatments have on the mental and physical body, as well as on relationships, and shares ways to help.
"The inability to have a baby can be devastating and many people don't realize the pain childlessness can cause," Lillian Dulan says. A recent study revealed that 49% of women and 15% of men described infertility as the most upsetting event of their lives.*
In their efforts to conceive, both men and women can engage in a harmful emotional cycle of self-blame. Consciously or subconsciously believing you are "less" of a man or woman makes the process more difficult. "The destructive core belief, that I am somehow defective has a spillover effect into many areas of our lives, from our most intimate relations to the way we may conduct ourselves with friends, acquaintances, and even with strangers." Dulan says. Lillian Dulan's philosophy focuses on the power of positive thought. She says, "I don't like to use the word Infertility because I feel it is a negative way to view the intention to become a parent. Referring to "Fertility issues" is softer and more positive."
Public attention on infertility issues are showing struggling parents, they are not alone. Intimately chronicling the IVF process on their reality show "Guiliana and Bill", E! Entertainment host Guiliana DePandi and her husband Bill Rancic show the healing value of therapy during their journey.
When emotional strain overwhelms, Lillian Dulan recommends getting back to the basics. "While undergoing fertility treatment it is of great importance for both men and women to be gentle with themselves. It sounds simple, but people often underestimate concentrating on the fundamentals to help heal." Dulan says. She recommends getting started with a few things to make the challenging process more bearable.
Exercise Control: It's crucial to pay close attention to what is going on in our bodies. When taking fertility medications it's important to remind yourself of the things the positive things your body can do. Maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly can help you feel better about yourself. Celebrate your body for what it can do.
Breathe Easy: Also proven to be helpful is becoming aware of your breath. This can be done by finding a quiet place to sit, and gently draw awareness to the in breath and the out breath. If thoughts come up, it is advised not to be judgmental and imagine the flow of your breath healing what is blocked or tense within you.
Think Healthy Thoughts: Just as the old adage goes, you are what you eat; you also are what you think. It is hard enough to undergo the hormonal treatments offered by fertility specialists, and commit to a process that demands attention and staying power. Positive thinking can have great impact on the process.
Perhaps we are giving ourselves messages like, my body is not fit to carry a child, or I am not meant for motherhood. At this time it is crucial that we begin to listen to our inner voices and really hear what we are saying to ourselves. Ask yourself the question Where can I be gentler with myself? Furthermore, beginning a journal of accomplishments is a good way of seeing the goodness and functioning aspects of ourselves. We can also begin noticing when we show up for others in a loving a nurturing way, in order to validate the mothering aspect within us.
About Lillian Dulan: Since she can remember Lillian has had a love of helping people. Lillian earned her Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University, Los Angeles and a Master of Arts in Teaching from Simmons College in Boston. She is on the Advisory Board for the LGBT Psychology Program at her alma mater, Antioch University, and is dedicated to helping promote the visibility of this very important endeavor. In addition to her Clinical and Teaching background, Lillian has deeply explored her own strengths and fallibilities through both written and spoken word. She entered Antioch University in 2001, earning an MFA in Creative Writing.
Lillian is dialed in to the needs of her clients and is an emphatically attuned expert in the areas of Addiction and Recovery, Grief and Loss, Transitions, Spiritual Issues and the Fertility/Adoption Process. She recently opened her new offices in the Santa Monica, CA area.
For further info email: Lilliandulan ( @ ) gmail dot com
* Freeman, E. W., Boxer, A. S., Rickels, K., Tureck, R., & Mastroianni, L. (1985). Psychological evaluation and support in a program of in vitro fertilization and embryo transfer. Fertility and Sterility, 43, 48-53.
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